Feelin' Groovy

Slow down, you move too fast

You got to make the morning last

Just kickin' down the cobble stones

Lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy

The 59^th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy) – Simon and Garfunkel

As many of you may or may not know or remember, this time of year is a bit loaded for me.

It’s the time I honor life in all of its splendor - times of birth and transition.

It’s my Born Day (July 26, 19not tellin’); the day my father, Matthew Miller, made his transition while I carried my own baby girl (July 24, 1996); and the transition of my cousin, Renee Williams Carter (July 28, 2011).

I don’t know if it’s just in the atmosphere or something I create or a little of both, but some sort of shifting usually occurs around this time.

So how’s this for starters: a few days I’m sitting in a parking lot for several minutes waiting to pick up one of my daughter’s friends in the pouring rain. Suddenly I hear a loud crash and am baffled as I was not in traffic and was not moving. That’s when I discovered that a parked car started backing out right into me.

I looked at the driver and asked, “Are you kidding me?!”

Who does that?!

Fast forward to yesterday and I find myself rushing down the stairs to my dented car to grab dinner when, after pausing to finish up a text (I know the dangers of walking distracted, thank you) I suddenly lose my footing and fall and break my toe.

I was so mad I told the doctor he was not telling the truth!

I repeat – who does that?!

This year I had planned to celebrate my Born Day by dressing up in a little black dress and heels – one of a girl’s best go-to combos. Didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing but I was gonna look fab!

But alas – I will now be wearing some slacks and an ugly post-op shoe L

One of my dearest friends is so Zen it’s at once soothing and annoying. When I whined into the phone about how disgusted I was that I had been such a klutz, his response was, “Hey, some people fall down the steps and break their neck so you need to be happy and go with the flow.”

Gee, thanks – at first sarcastically and then literally.

He’s so right.

Is that not the ongoing theme for 2012?

Go with the flow!

Every year I remind myself that my birthday is my own personal New Year. I tend to prepare for this semi‑annual milestone using the left-brained approach I wrote about last week – journal, new pens, and books. Time for some serious contemplating, planning, and goal / intention setting.

But this year is different.

My journal and pens are in the Barnes and Noble bag, along with numerous motivational quotes for setting the tone for the coming year. But the words and plan just seem to be more comfortable in the incubator of my mind and heart.

They seem to need a little more time to percolate on the right side of my brain as I meditate and be still for a change.

I think it’s called surrender.

Just last night I sat outside on the deck, foot propped up, and looked into the sky at just the moment my father breathed his last.

As a couple of tears made their way down my cheeks, I talked to God about all of my feelings and even had the journal and pens in hand, just in case.

That’s when I realized (and accepted) that God and I were doing a new thing this year and I was OK with that.

We made the peace (had just finished watching a Godfather documentary where Michael Corleone had just told the families to make the peace so it seemed apropos).

So I’m just gonna slow down and go with the flow.

Apparently these things can’t be rushed and I am moving way too fast.

When my foot gets better, I’ll kick a few cobble stones and in the meantime will always look for fun.

Because if there’s one thing I’ve decided is a non-negotiable in life, it’s feelin’ groovy.