Everybody Wants to BE

Back in the day (my day, anyway), Gladys Knight and the Pips released a song called Bourgeois Bourgeois. It wasn’t their typical fare but it was the 80’s when, musically, many groups were being called upon to reinvent themselves.

I got a kick out of the words that referenced the so-called Nouveau Riche who were from around‑the‑way but were intent on leaving that past behind and doing a bit of reinventing of their own.

While my angst surrounding being betwixt and between this oxymoronic class clash has been well documented (see Middle Passage Part Two: The Talented Tenth vs. Bebe’s Kids, Alli’s Two Cents, April 17, 2011), being perceived as “bourgeois” has once again reared its head.

It’s a label I just can’t seem to shake.

My posture has always been that I pursue or embrace things or places because I enjoy them. Yet in spite of what I have considered relatively benign choices, I’ve had friends and family tease me for my so‑called “high‑end” preferences at the same time they would balk at the notion of me shopping in certain so-called “ghetto malls” or being at ease travelling in certain neighborhoods.

Maybe it’s my age but I’m over chasing this image of what is good and right and proper and acceptable and am focusing on choosing what is genuine and authentic for me.

It’s not about being “bourgeois” or “ghetto.” It’s about being allowed to BE.

As I mulled all of this over, I thought of this real-time life lesson that drove the point home for me:

Last week my daughter and I were on our way to an appointment when we discovered that our normal route was packed with traffic.

In comes Miss “Let Me Handle This” with her brainy iPhone that calculates an alternate route that gets us there in perfect time.

At first I couldn’t wrap my head around this alternate route but after piecing together the roads in my mind, it finally came together for me because I have a very good sense of direction that I inherited from my father.

Now this immediately strikes me as comical because I have a friend who refuses to believe that I can find my way out of a paper bag!

I’ve made the unfortunate mistake of mentioning getting lost or turned around a time or two and he insists that I need GPS. I steadfastly refuse, however, just like I insist on reading paper books instead of getting a Nook or Kindle. (I recognize that these are battles I will ultimately lose but for now, this is my story and I’m sticking to it.)

This friend has enjoyed many a good-natured laugh at my expense and I can’t help but join in because the only place he’s seen me get is lost! What I realized, however, is that his perception doesn’t alter what I know to be true about myself – I do have a good sense of direction, GPS or no.

So the moral of this story is I can’t be worryin’ about what people say or think about me or the labels they apply. Their perceptions ain’t my truth.

How’s that for improper?

And for the record, I maintain that in addition to having a phenomenal sense of direction (ahem), everybody - bourgeois, ghetto, or somewhere in between - just wants to – and should be allowed to -  BE.