Bridging the Gap with Love, Peace, and SOUL!

This past week I had the honor and pleasure of reading an excerpt from HBCU Experience – The Book at an event that promoted this historic project as well as the screening of a monumental film documentary titled, Mr. SOUL! The Movie.

I LOVED it!

Not only because it felt like I was taking concrete steps toward making my dream of becoming a writer come true, but because I had the distinct feeling that I am part of a movement. Indeed it is a renaissance of substance in our hearts, minds, and souls that is bringing our rich legacy back to life.

HBCU Experience – The Book is the brainchild of Howard University Professor Dr. Tia Tyree and Howard University alum Christopher Cathcart. These two communications titans (along with many others, I’m sure) believe it is important to document the historically black college and university (HBCU) experience through the eyes of students and alumni because, “[HBCUs] have a rich legacy in the United States and [the] graduates of these institutions have made and continue to make major contributions to the history and climate of this country.” (www.blackcollegebook.com)

When I told my delightful teenage daughter of my contribution to project, she wanted to know why I felt this book was so important.

I had to point out – and remember myself - that the so-called majority culture has clearly defined what the college experience looks like and that it is an assumed experience we all accept and, at times, celebrate.

But, I reminded her - and myself – that that’s not the only way to experience higher learning.

Unfortunately, the larger culture isn’t as aware of HBCUs and our own community has not done the best job promoting or preserving their value and significance.

I also had to remind her that at one time, HBCUs were the primary, if not only, vehicle by which proud, intelligent, gifted, and talented African Americans could plot a future of their own.

Similarly, the screening of Mr. SOUL! The Movie was the perfect pairing to HBCU Experience, much like a good wine complements the perfect meal.

Kudos belongs to Melissa Haizlip, niece of creator and host Ellis Haizlip, who has worked diligently to bring this treasure to the fore. Mr. SOUL!, dubbed the first Black Tonight Show, harnessed the tenor and tone of what was stirring in the Black community in the late 60’s / early 70’s by showcasing not only the exquisite artistic talent in the African American community but our intellectual prowess as well as our supreme beauty and diversity. It wasn’t given its due and lost its fight to remain on PBS but is indeed priceless.

I simply cannot get enough of this film and my heart swells with pride each time I see it.

I am mesmerized by discussions with a young Sidney Poitier, Harry Belafonte, James Baldwin, and Nikki Giovanni, as well as debut performances by the likes of Earth, Wind, and Fire, Stevie Wonder, Miriam Makeba, and Donny Hathaway.

I find it particularly rewarding to share these images and experiences with my teenage daughter, who has the power and the best opportunity to not only become aware of this movement but to propel it forward and make it stick.

Like most teens, she walks around with her iPhone stuck to her ears blasting all kinds of music. And, like most parents of teens, I have had to put forth some effort to bridge the gap between my culture and what has now become the norm.

Thanks to her, I have learned to recognize Drizzy Drake’s The Motto and the very old Fancy (my ringtone on her phone, by the way). And, in spite of my resistance and mixed emotions, I admit I still like Pretty Boy Swag by Soulja Boy.

Nevertheless, I smile when I hear some Earth, Wind, and Fire and Stevie Wonder sneak out of the headphones while she sings the lyrics.

Here’s a quintessential bridging the gap moment:

When we lost spoken word pioneer Gil Scott-Heron, my daughter was devastated. “You mean The Revolution Will Not Be Televised?” she asked incredulously. She was almost as upset as if Drake had met his Maker (almost).

But the ultimate was when in that same year, the BET Awards paid homage to Brother Gil with Queen Latifah reciting a verse or two of the iconic Revolution. My daughter was visiting her grandmother out of town but made sure to call me so we could watch it together. (And The Queen killed it!)

You see, when she was a little thing, I taught her to sing this song with her fist in the air because I wanted her to know that there were rappers back in the day who could spit rhymes about positive, uplifting issues that were empowering and sounded good.

And before we bemoan the mindset and preferences of our current generation, it is incumbent upon us to take a look at the proverbial man / woman in the mirror.

They did not arrive at this place in a vacuum.

And trust me - this is not about me being the model parent by a long-shot. I shudder to think that she may emulate some of my missteps. But I hope the good will outweigh the bad.

So here’s my Two Cents by way of a shout-out:

I thank you, Dr. Tia Tyree, tenured Howard University Professor; Christopher Cathcart, Distinguished Howard University classmate, alum, and friend; and Melissa Haizlip, history preserver and film maker extraordinaire. Your efforts are bridging the gap between what was, what is, and what will be. Thanks to you, we got us a new revolution that is not only being televised, but is being told, written, filmed, Facebooked, and Tweeted!

I’m a witness.

Everything Happens For a Reason

It has not been lost on me that lately my house is becoming the afterschool hub and in‑case-of-an-emergency way station. Since I am blessed to work from home, I often get, “Mother Allison, can so-and-so come over since his mom is running late?” or “It’s raining and (insert girl child’s name) doesn’t want to walk home and get her hair messed up.”

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it!

You see, you don’t know how grateful I am that my awesome teenage daughter has found her niche in an activity she enjoys (basketball) and that she feels comfortable enough to encourage her friends to come over - any parent of a teenager will tell you what a blessing that is)!

Just a few weeks ago, we were Spring Break Central with more than one child camping out. And I remember glowing inwardly when a couple of months ago, three basketball players (my child included) hovered on my doorstep in search of pizza while waiting for a late practice to begin.

Anyway, Wednesday was one of those way station days.

Four stray children showed up on my doorstep in the rain when only one was expected.

The only problem was we on our way out the door to basketball training.

So I scramble around for snacks and say, “We got eight minutes, crew.”

But everything happens for a reason.

It just so happened that I had to run one of them back to the school which worked out for the best since my child needed her basketball togs which she just so happened to leave in her locker.

But alas - she couldn’t get them which meant she did not have the proper gear for training.

Then it just so happened that we then had to take a different friend home which means we ran into horrendous traffic at the height of rush hour in the rain.

Do you see a pattern here?

When we did finally arrive at basketball training, we discovered that our make-shift basketball gear had a major malfunction.

So I say, “OK, here are the options: tell the coach you have to leave (which you know he ain’t goin’ for); run to the store, which will only give you a quick hour or so for practice (which you know he ain’t goin’ for); or make do.”

Option three won.

I went on to my normal routine of entertaining myself for an hour and a half or so only to return to a benched player with a golf-sized ankle bone propped up on ice.

Turns out that the missing basketball togs included missing basketball shoes which means my child uses two-year-old track shoes instead.

Major ankle roll on a previously broken ankle.

Ugh!

But it just so happened that we were close to an urgent care center that just so happened to have an opening in 15 minutes.

The next day I get up at the crack of dawn to make a follow-up appointment with the orthopedic specialist who just so happens to serve most of the athletes in our school district and who already knows many of the coaches at our high school.

How awesomely amazing is God’s care of us? He / She is always in the details and I am finally learning not to be surprised.

So get this: how about my Gratitude-on-Steroids Experiment with The Magic by Rhonda Byrne ended Wednesday?

Coincidence?

Not likely.

Everything happens for a reason.

I wasn’t quite sure how to document the results of my experiment and was really sad to see it end. But I found this eventful, if not comical, 48 hours particularly fitting.

Could it be that my increased awareness of all the many blessings in my life have conspired to orchestrate serendipities I could never have imagined?

Like how I just so happened to have a meeting with a good friend I hadn’t seen in years who just so happened to know this basketball coach renowned for transforming junior varsity players into varsity players. And how this was an intention my child set for herself, unbeknownst to me.

So this is how I will document the results of my 28-day Gratitude-on-Steroids Experiment:

It seems to me that gratitude met with intention meets with miraculous manifestation.

You make the call.

But I know the answer.

Digging Deeper

OK, so your favorite blogger – Her Nerdy Wordiness – has been holding out on you.

I have not only been practicing gratitude with Rhonda Byrne’s The Magic but also Calling in ”The One”.

Let me explain.

In 2004, one of my sister friends convinced me to meet her at a workshop at 9am on a Saturday when I was not on Mommy Duty.

Now you know.

En route, however, she called to tell me that the workshop had been cancelled (!) but all was not lost! “Turn on WHUR,” she said, “You just gotta hear this author on the Audrey Chapman Show!”

Are you kidding me?

So I obliged her and was introduced to Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of Calling in “The One”.

According to Miss Katherine and my sister friend, if we followed the course outlined in her book, The One would appear in a mere seven weeks.

So instead of our original plan, my sister friend and I high-tailed it to Borders in Bowie (so miss that place!) only to find the last two copies of Calling in “The One” on the shelf, side-by-side, waiting just for us.

As it turned out, the Calling in The One process was more about developing an authentic spiritual life and practice in order to clear out anything that may be blocking love from one’s life than just turning a frog into a prince.

This was right on time for me because I was beginning to redefine spirituality and a practical relationship with the divine and found this book to be profoundly helpful.

What’s more, I thought this process was successful because – lo and behold - my second husband appeared by the end of that year. It took a bit longer than seven weeks but still. (By the way, he also disappeared a few short months later but that’s another blog for another time.)

As a budding networker and writer, I began emailing Miss Katherine with details about my Calling in The One experience. And not long after that, she spoke at Unity of Washington, DC and I got to meet her! Yet another serendipitous link in the golden chain I call this magnificent journey as Unity is now my church - her talk and book signing were my first visit.

So fast-forward eight years to now and here I am, rearranging the clutter, I mean cleaning up my room, which always includes re-shelving stray books. That’s when my eyes landed on Calling in “The One”. For some unknown reason, I picked it up – you know, just for kicks.

As I began to leaf through its very tattered and marked-up pages, a lesson on meditation fell open on my lap.

It struck a chord with me as I realized that everywhere I go, this meditation / going within theme appears. And I remembered that, for me, the Calling in The One process was more about spiritual connection than manifesting the man of my dreams.

So maybe this is a course worth revisiting?

Come on, God, really?

I sat on that one for several days because I know me - when I embark on these major self improvement projects, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, I become fraught with anxiety.

But this time felt different.

I can honestly say that I really “get” that a satisfying life is about so much more than romance. I don’t have to “fix” myself to manifest a far-off happiness somewhere down the road. I just have to focus on loving and accepting myself as I am and believe that I am worthy and deserving of all that I want. At the same time, I gently nudge myself toward that reality by celebrating all of my epiphanies and victories along the way.

In Lesson 2, Miss Katherine notes the unfortunate separation our culture insists on maintaining between romantic love and agape or neighborly love. But, she notes, “…while romantic love does have the benefit of hormones and biological urges to enhance its allure, the qualities that make up a loving relationship are the same whether we love our friend, our sister, our student, or our husband. Compassion, generosity, and kindness transcend gender, title, or the form of a relationship.”

Just the other day I remember watching Oprah’s Life Class where she and T.D. Jakes were both encouraging an audience member to “see” an unexpected life twist that seemed to bring her nothing but pain and frustration as a profound opportunity to share and receive love, fulfillment, and purpose. As Oprah noted, we all look for love when it’s often right in our backyard.

And see that’s where gratitude comes in. It occurs to me that even if The One was here right now, my day-to-day would not become vastly different or somehow complete because I already focus on all that is good and choose to feel grateful and happy for it.

As author Gregg Baden posted on his Facebook timeline this fine morning, “Happiness is not a destination; it is a way of life.” (Author unknown)

Gotta love this synchronistic way of living J

So, as you can see, I did recommit to Calling in “The One”. My practice for the past few weeks has been to wake up being grateful with Miss Rhonda and go to sleep making room for love with Miss Katherine.

But this go ‘round I’m taking my time and going with the flow.

I don’t care if it takes seven weeks or seven months – the objective is an ongoing unfolding. My focus is on letting go of anything in my past that could be holding me back from the life of my dreams.

And I’m not terribly concerned about The One showing up. That’s because whenever I get antsy, I remind myself to surrender. I remember that my life is truly in God’s hands and to trust the process. I know that the desires of my heart will appear as I focus on the blessings I have and give thanks for all I want as though it’s already here.

Because, in the Spirit, it is.

P.S. I’ll let you in on a little secret – The One is in my June “I-Got-Mail” New Year’s Eve letter. Gotta love 2012 J

Let Your Light So Shine

As we prepare to celebrate one of Christianity’s high holy days, I want to talk about what it really means to let our light shine.

As one who was born and raised a Christian, I always had a problem with evangelism. Not the concept itself – you know, sharing good news that has so profoundly impacted your life you can’t help but tell others.

My problem was with the approach: “If you were to die today, where would you spend eternity? Do you know with certainty that you would go to Heaven?”

Yikes!

That whole approach is fear-based and, after years of study and introspection, I have decided that fear is the antithesis of what Jesus Christ is about.

Now that’s good news! (No pun intended.)

The bad news is I didn’t get an accurate view of the God I had served all my life from the sources that introduced me to Him – the church.

And notice I said the God I served and not the God I loved.

For my fundamentalist brothers and sisters, I thought the whole premise of salvation through Jesus Christ is that I can now have an intimate, one-on-one relationship with God out of love and choice as opposed to rules and obligation?

In short, it’s an inside job and that frees us to love Him, not be petrified of Him.

Jesus’ sacrifice on Calvary’s Cross – what this weekend is all about - also frees us from the worry and guilt, burden of doing something wrong and having to jump through hoops to be forgiven should you make the occasional faux pas so common among us humans.

Now, for my fire-baptized brothers and sisters in Christ, I am in no way saying we all have license to do whatever whenever and however. But why are those of us in the church so afraid to let people work out their own salvation? (Phil 1:2) Why do we have to control people’s lives and thoughts and clothes and music…you get my point.

That’s a huge turn off to many, if not most, which is why so many are seeking spiritual answers and practical applications – the Truth - from other sources.

I’m one of them.

And I was a dyed-in-the-wool church girl: saved; sanctified; filled‑with‑the‑Holy‑Ghost; runnin’‑on‑to‑see‑what‑the‑end’s‑gon’‑be girl.

But the way I was trying to relate to God was literally killing me.

So I began to search. Ask questions. Seek so I could find. Knock so the door could be opened.

And what I found is God had it right all along but had been woefully misrepresented.

He / She is a God of love and abundance and boundaries and wants us to live so well on earth that we can’t wait to see what’s in store in the hereafter (if that’s your dogma of choice). Self-help experts, business experts, metaphysicians, darn near everybody knows and is telling us that the essence of life is in the Spirit and that the way to success is through acknowledging, accepting, defining, and incorporating God into your heart and every day life.

So knowing, serving, and loving God is about far more than what happens to me when I die. But I can’t love and embrace a God as my Daddy, a Jesus as my brother, and a Holy Spirit as my live-in helper if all I know of Him is He’s either gonna put me with the sheep or the goats.

So as I prepare to celebrate the renewal that Resurrection symbolizes, here’s my Two Cents:

I’ve decided that knowing Jesus is about letting his light so shine through me, ever brightening, so that men and women will irresistibly and inexplicably be drawn to me and I can tell them the Good News.

Because, after all, remember – they’re supposed to know we’re Christians by our love.